Tuesday, June 7, 2011

June 7th: Brigitte Marcelle!

Memo to: Brad Lavigne

Re: Brigitte Marclle

Brad, let’s cancel Suzuki’s keynote at our upcoming 50th Anniversary Conference in Vancouver. I mean he’s good, but he’ll go on and on about the end of the world. I have no problem with that, but then the solution is always more and more David. And, why does his solution always entail buying more of his bloody books??? As if only he can save the planet. Sigh, he’s so old-school. To be honest, let’s go with someone with a positive attitude – Brigitte Marcelle has accepted our offer to be the keynote. She’s a can-do type of person and I want to inspire the troops, not get them all depressed.

Can we take her “Stop Harper” sign and make some slight changes? Let’s make it orange, and then put my face on the back. Then we can add a small handle so people can wave them! Can you get a quote on 4,000 of these suckers? What a sight that will be – everybody in the Convention Centre waving my “Stop Harper” signs, I mean, our “Stop Harper” signs. The press will eat this up – Craig assured me that CTV would play this up big-time, and Milewski even said he wants 20 of our signs for his local crew!

And, what a collectible piece they would make, no? Everybody is going to want one. So, we need to actually make more than 4,000. But, before you print up the signs, let’s make sure we trademark the “Stop Harper” slogan. This could be a huge money-maker for the NDP – signs, buttons, t-shirts, hats, pens, etc. Can you get Brigitte to sign a release form – I don’t think she really needs a cut of the action, do you?

I can sense some trouble with Libby. So, can you make 50 of those signs with Libby’s face on the back? That way, she can give one to all of the attendees at our ‘vegan circle’ lunch. If Libby wants more, she can buy them at our special MP price. Brad, I hope this heads off another one of her meltdowns. Yesterday– she was not one bit happy with how she appears on TV during question period. So, right in the middle of things, she tries to change seats with Mulcair, because she feels that his seat would highlight her better side. Mulcair wouldn’t budge and I had to promise Libby I’d see if I can change the camera angles. So, can you call Van Loan and see if they can adjust the cameras? Yet another area where the NDP can work with the Conservatives to make Parliament work.

Brad, if the Stanley Cup finals go to a game seven, I believe it will overlap with our Conference. So, here’s my plan. Let’s smuggle in 5,000 of these signs and get people to wave them during the game.

I assume everybody will wave them, right?

This will give us national coverage on the CBC and if we time this for when Don Cherry’s segment is on, we’ll hit a sweet spot. Cherry will go nuts! He’ll be frothing at the mouth, no? If we get him to go off the deep-end on national TV, I bet we can sell thousands of the suckers. And, guess what, who needs that fucking $2/vote subsidy when we can sell all of these “Stop Harper” signs???

Don’t you love our new can-do attitude?



  1. Poor Libby.

    Someone should tell her she doesn't have a good side.

  2. Jack - I've been watching all the Stanley Cup finals, when they show the crowds in the bars going crazy when the canucks score, I have yet to see you get your elbows up and Gordie-Howe someone out of the way..

    Whats up with that, anyway?

  3. 4,000? Jacques must be massaging those numbers.