July 4th: Feedback on Canada Day...

Memo to: Brad Lavigne

Re: Feedback on Canada Day
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Brad, that was the worst Canada Day ever! I was all set to meet Kate and Will when Lemelin called and told me I had to serve burgers at the CUPW BBQ. He had me standing out there for over three hours doling out burgers and hot dogs and then I had to wash some dishes. My god, he had most of the caucus there cleaning up (he had more NDP MPs there than we get to caucus meetings). Let me tell you, my back is now killing me. And, no honourarium or anything - all I got after was a CUPW reusable enviro bag.

I’ve agreed to be on the cover of the next CUPW magazine dressed in a mail carrier’s outfit. But, Lemelin wants me to wear something off the rack rather than having it custom tailored! Can you talk to him about that? And, Olivia’s all bent out of shape because she wants an outfit too and she thinks we should both be on the cover. Olivia doesn’t buy off the rack, so there’s no room for compromise there. So, how about a picture of me delivering the mail to Stornoway with Olivia at the front door? Olivia’s even agreed to smile! Ask Lemelin if he can also get me a mail cart to roll around – I think I can use one of those at the cottage.

Libby’s stuck in Greece waiting on the Canadian Boat to Gaza. Apparently, her first-class cabin doesn’t have its own bathroom, and she hasn’t been able to find any vegan food. I guess with all the rioting the suppliers can’t get to the boat and that has made her a tad grumpy. She’s particularly upset that the satellite TV in her cabin has 589 stations but no CBC! So, she has nothing to watch while she waits. Is it possible for us to FEDEX over some cucumber sandwiches and a bushel of carrots for the trip?

And, while you’re at it, when you are sending that package to Libby, perhaps you can include Layton T-shirts for the crew and passengers. Imagine the photo op – the Israelis diverting the ship with everybody on board wearing an orange Latyon Tee. Make sure we send the shirts with my picture on both sides, not just the front. If the Israelis board the ship, we could get some major coverage world-wide, no? Time for us to think big here!

By the way, I’m still basking in the glow from the filibuster. But it’s the small stuff that’s getting us points. Those earrings that Papillon wears are amazing! I knew she was a good pick to run in Quebec City. It’s that sort of attention to detail that’s made us the official opposition. Can you send her a Layton Tee with a big thank you?

Jack